He Is Becoming Clingy
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
My boyfriend of 3 months is becoming clingy. I need some alone time already! Help!
A: Ugh. Your boyfriend is turning into your “Gal Pal,” and if you don’t do something fast, you are going to be forced to take him to the very next “girl’s night out.” There are a few reasons guys develop the “Gal Pal” syndrome.
1. He may truly enjoy every moment spent basking in your glow.
2. He may like shopping malls and spas (though I really have met very few men who fall into this category).
3. He may be very jealous and not trust you just yet.
Whatever the case, some suggestions to wean him off of your girl’s night outing.
1. It’s still a bit soon to be giving him your hourly schedule. Do what you need to do and then call him to let him know you have time.
2. Let him know that spending too much time together isn’t good for you. Yes, it may be harsh…but better now than later.
3. If it’s a night you have plans, tell him you just want to get all pretty for him or get some things done, and then remind him you will be seeing him later (giving him something to look forward too).
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt and Tamsen, America’s Love Experts, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
Getting The Thumbs Up
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
I am meeting my boyfriend’s friends for the first time, and I want them to approve of me. Any suggestions on making sure I become just one of the guys.
First, you got the key, then the drawer, but how do you make sure you get the guy? He may worship the ground your Jimmy Choos walk on, but don’t start naming children yet! As you flit into Fall, you still have one hurdle lying in the middle of “The Aisle”: the friends.
• Initially, you may be perceived as a threat to his “brain trust.”
Don’t go crazy with the pronouns like WE and US. Couple talk segregates the two of you.
• Guys are cruel.
They love to tease and taunt each other. When one of them brings his girl into the group, he becomes a marked man. Don’t defend your guy against his friends’ silly slights.
• Leave the “glue stick girlfriend” at home.
Limited PDA. Men associate touch with possession. Wait until later and possess him all you want, in the bedroom.
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt and Tamsen, America’s Love Experts, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
I am bold and honest, but how honest should I be about my sexual past?
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
As you can see by my question, I am bold, very open and always honest about my sexual past with boyfriends. But, with the guy I am currently seeing, I am a little reluctant to tell him about my past. Any help you can give me? I don’t want to mess things
A: Any man who has a problem with an experienced and mature woman, who knows exactly what she wants, needs to stay in HIS white picket fence fantasy world. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes and picking men who were not right for you in the past. The good news is, you know what you are looking for and what is right for you, now. Here are a few ways to ensure your former flings don’t come back to haunt you.
* Avoid bragging about the days you were what you call a “party girl.” It may sound hot to your girlfriends, but it probably doesn’t sound cool to him.
* Your relationship is not a confessional. It is okay NOT to reveal everything about yourself, a little mystery goes a long way.
* If you run into an old flame, introduce him, and make sure your boyfriend has the center spotlight. Don’t spend your Saturday night making excuses, explaining every intimate detail of this particular past tryst.
So Many Men
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
I am dating two different guys. If I could combine them, I would have the perfect man, but clearly that is not an option! How do I chose between the two? Or, should I keep dating both until a better one comes along.
You are in a difficult situation. The good news is you have a few choices; the bad news is you are eventually going to have to make a choice:
1. Choose between the two guys, by really determining who you are the most comfortable with. Physical attraction is important and there is no denying chemistry, but you should make your choice for the long term.
2. Continue dating both guys - which may be difficult for both you and them. This scenario could potentially mean you lose both guys but more time may help you make the right decision.
3. Say goodbye to both men and look for man #3 – you may risk losing two good guys but end up with a great guy who has everything you’re looking for.
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt and Tamsen, America’s Love Experts, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
Is It Love Or Is It Text?
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
I think I am in the middle of a relationship build solely on texting! I met a guy on-line, but have yet to see him in person, all we do is text each other! What does it mean?
Beware of the species of males out there called “the kitchen mavens” a.k.a. “the non-closer.” These are men who talk the talk, or rather type the text, but certainly can’t walk the walk. They are satisfied with an interesting conversation and flirting, but for some reason can’t take it to the next level. A true man wants to hear what you have to say, but initially is more interested in how you look and in physically connecting. If a man isn’t in a hurry to get physical, or at least see you in person, beware, he isn’t that interested or he unfortunately may be one of the above mentioned creatures.
Here are some guidelines to reading between the lines, so you don’t waste time with what we call a “techno tease.”
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
•If he doesn’t ask you out within ten text exchanges, you are getting down to the wire, and on the fast track to Friendship Lane.
•Any late night texts are feeble attempts to appear to be macho. Don’t respond until you see his moves in person.
•He has 10 days from the initial time you meet to CALL (not text). At that point, he must ask you out on a date.
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt and Tamsen, America’s Love Experts, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
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